Thoughts on a Sunday

During Sacrament meeting, (while I was reading the Ensign instead of listening to the High Councilman) I came across the talk "Daughters of God" by Elder M. Russell Ballard. I enjoyed it so much and it was very fitting for my current situation.

He speaks about the respect and gratitude he feels for mothers and asked and answered four questions that would help us to "be happy and successful in your families and to have the validations and support you need and deserve."

Question 1: What can a mother do to reduce the pressure and enjoy her family more?

A1: Recognize that the joy of motherhood comes in moments. We don't want to look back and say that we didn't live in the moment enough or that we wish we had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing.
*This is a big for me. As the mom, the wife, the cook, the maid, and the office manager I am rarely ever just "in the moment." I am constantly thinking of the next three things that I "should" be doing.

A2: Don't over schedule yourselves or your children.
*Since I don't have Max scheduled for sports or music yet this is just a problem for me. Referring to the many things going on above I struggle just to find time to shower.

A3: Find some time for yourself to cultivate your gifts and interests. Water cannot be drawn from an empty well and if you are not setting aside a little time for what replenishs you, you will have less and less to give others, even to your children.
* The things I like to do always get pushed to the background.

A4: Pray, study and teach the gospel. Pray deeply about your children and about your role as a mother.
*I am failing miserably at the first. But praying like I have never prayed before.

I had a bit of a breakdown and was thinking of all the things that I was trying to do and blaming my husband for not "helping enough." Really I just can't seem to stay on top of everything and I don't ask for help. We had a great talk and he didn't get defensive (he never gets defensive). Instead he helped me come up with some ways that I and we could make better use of our time, to get to bed earlier and for me to ask for help.

Question 2: What more can a husband do to support his wife, the mother of his children?
A1: Show extra appreciation and give more validation for what your wife does every day. Notice things and say thank you-often.

A2: Have a regular time to talk with your wife about the child's needs and what he can do to help.

A3: Give your wife a "day away." Just take over the household and give her a break from her daily responsibilities.

A4: Come home from work and take an active role with your family.

*Only after picking on him did I realize how good he is at everything on the list. He tells me what a good job I am doing as a mom. We walk nearly every night and talk about everything but especially Max. He comes home from work and takes Max so I can "go to work." And this he does with so much excitement...it is their boy bonding time. And he has a great understanding and appreciation of what it takes to run a house. The laundry, changing, feeding, washing bottles, doing dishes, cooking meals, etc. that at the end of the day you wonder what, if anything you actually accomplished.

I love my son. I love my husband. I love our life together. Everything else is just me trying to keep us all fed, clean and clothed, stay on top of work and hopefully remember what things are most important.