Quiet Book

Jessica made Max a Quiet Book which is sooo great!

Here is just one of the many fabulous pages...

Thanks Jessica!

The Cat

Anybody want a cat? I am annoyed, irritated, frustrated, and feel bad about the way I treat him. I would have gotten rid of him long ago but for my husband. He thinks he is protecting me from something that I will regret later. And when we first came home from the hospital with Max that made sense. When Max was a month old it still made sense. When he was two months old I decided I needed to give it a little more time. Now that Max is 7 months old, my feelings are not changing, in fact the feelings of intense dislike are intensifying. And some of those negative feelings are spreading to the husband who just won’t let me get rid of the dumb cat.

The cat was mine. James married into the cat and is allergic to him. You would think he would jump all over the chance to get rid of him. But NO! Every time I talk about it he says I shouldn’t do it. And I just don’t feel like I can make the decision to do it myself without having his agreement. James says he is part of the family. But no member of the family should be treated this way. We don’t abuse him or anything, but most of the time we just want him to go away and stop bugging us. I feel bad. And having him around is a constant nagging reminder of it. At least if he weren’t here I wouldn’t have to feel bad about it all.

I raised the cat since he was 6 weeks old, this has always been his home. We had a certain relationship and I changed, not the cat. He doesn’t do anything differently, but I feel differently. And I can’t seem to get it back. Those feelings of affection for him. I feel bad that I treat him differently and feel that it is unfair for him to be in this hostile atmosphere when he didn’t do anything. I don’t want to put him to sleep or anything…I would like to find him a good home, I just don’t want him here anymore. And yet, James insists that I will regret it and that there are reasons for keeping him, such as Max will like playing with him…but the cat didn't grow up with kids and we have to watch him carefully because he has already tried to bite Max.

When driving in yesterday and seeing the cat I actually had the thought that I wished he would just get hit by a car. That is a HORRIBLE thing to think and I immediately repented of that. I wouldn’t want that. But it did make me realize how intensely I feel about him not being here anymore. John, I wish you could take him. I know you would love that. And I hope you don’t think less of me because I don’t want him anymore. Just one of the ways being a mom has changed me. I wish I could reconnect with the affectionate relationship I had with the cat, but it does not seem to be happening.

I remember that he was so comforting to me when I was pregnant. And Max would kick so much when the cat was lying near my stomach. I miss that, but can't seem to feel it anymore. Basically I decided that something had to be done, one way or the other. I may never be able to have the same affectionate bond with the cat, but I should at least be able to treat him with compassion rather than animosity. And if I just can't, then it is time to get rid of him.

So began the cat experiment. I reopened his cat door and that seemed to work for a while. The independence seemed to suit him and I wasn't always having to let him in or out. I worked at giving him some attention, petting him, letting him sleep on my bed again. And that seemed to be working. I was enjoying having him around again. Until I went into the living room and almost sat Max down on top of a dead mouse. Instantly all of my good feeling towards him vanished. I realize that it is his cat nature to do these things. And although it always annoyed me, I dealt with it before. But I don't want to just deal with it. I want it to be good or gone. So, back to the question...anybody want a cat?

John's Cards

While laying in bed one night I suddenly had the idea to make John a deck of cards using family pictures. He had just sent out an email asking for pictures to take with him when he deployed and I thought it would be a fun way to give him lots of family pictures. It only took me nine months to finish. Sorry for the long wait John.

My first step was to find a cool deck of Marine cards. This deck was perfect. I also gave John a regular deck which has all of the ranks on the cards.


Here are pictures of the final finished project.

Over several months I collected pictures from emails, Picassa Albums and Blogs. After collecting and sifting through them I cropped, edited and finally printed them.

While Erika was at my house she was a huge help! It was her idea to put the red on black and black on red and she helped me cut and paste all of the center pieces.

With that done I was able to cut and place all of the pictures, and finally laminate and cut the cards.

It was a quite the undertaking and so much fun! John says he loves it. I only wish I could have given it to him in person to see if the big tough Marine cried. I would have liked it if he cried.

Book Group

I had a great time at Book Group...and I didn't even read the book. It was a small group; only four of us. I am usually the odd man out because everyone else knows each other very well and I don't really get to know them. So with the small group I got to know the others a bit better.

We also talked about the book a bit more than we usually do. I really enjoyed the tidbits they picked out to talk about and it made me want to read the book.

I am on a new kick...Audiobooks. It's so great! I can't find time to read a book, but I can get so much done and enjoy a book all at the same time.

Mittens

I have looked and looked for some winter mittens for Max and just couldn't find what I wanted. So, I asked my sister-in-law to make Max a pair. She is extremely talented and she whipped up a pair in no time. They are so cute and soft and fit perfectly. Thanks Lauren!

Shots

Two weeks in a row I forget Max's appointment for shots. I finally got him in for his next shot. I really need to stay on top of these things.

* Notes: DTAP right leg. No bruising, woke up several times crying, cranky and jumpy. Also, woke up gagging on something.

Shopping & What Not To Wear

Last weekend Kimber and Mom came to Utah for a birthday getaway. We decided to spend Saturday shopping and to prepare ourselves we watched several episodes of TLC's "What Not To Wear." A show that takes someone who is desperately in need of help in the fashion area and gives them $5000 to spend on a new wardrobe...with the stipulations that the stylists, Stacy & Clinton get to tell them everything that is wrong with their clothes, throw away everything in their current wardrobe and give them rules to shop by. They can be kind be harsh, but are really trying to get the point across that what the person is doing is not flattering. And the rules are meant to help flatter whatever body shape you currently have, not one you wish, hope or plan to have.

Anyway, after brushing up on our rules for how to dress, we headed out for our own shopping excursion. Since no one gave us $5000 to spend we were excited to see that Mervyns was having a going out of business sale with everything 30% to 70% off. After lunch at Rumbies to refuel we went to Dress Barn. Despite the name they really do have great clothes and also always have clearance racks. We all managed to find some great peices.

I have made fun of the woman on the show who are so emotional and have such a hard time with the shopping. But I can understand a little more...it was fun but also frustrating and emotional. Frustrating to try on thing after thing after thing and not find something, but then so fun when something fit and looked great. I have really been hating everything that I wear and everything I feel about my appearance is negativity. And I am tired of that. So, time to change. I got rid of the worst things in my closet and now have a few great things in my closet. And the rest of the clothes are somewhere in between. But for the times when I want to look my best and feel really cute I now have a great outfit.

It was a fun and exhausting day. Thanks Mom & Kimber!

IT'S DONE

The project that I have been working on for John is finally finished, packaged and mailed!

James said to me, "Didn't you start this before Max was born?" I did.

Once upon a time, nine months ago, a little girl, I mean, a large pregnant women, was unable to sleep (shocker) and while staring at the ceiling (oh, wait, I couldn't lay on my back), while starting at the wall of my bedroom, I suddenly had a great idea for a gift for John. Today I finally finished it!

It's coming at ya John! Hope you like it.

* Pictures and details to come after he has received it.

Max's Pillow

I went in to check on Max and found him using his dog for a pillow.