March: Will This Pregnancy EVER be over?

March 1

Getting my taxes done was soooo much fun! Weird I know. But, first of all, it was something I really wanted to have done before the baby came...one less life thing to have to worry about afterwards. And secondly, we are getting a refund; a pretty good one, which was unexpected. Yeah for us! I hope you all fair as well.

So, the day started out well. It helps of course that I had a good night's sleep. Then after the good news I enjoyed talking with Kimber. As the birth comes closer I found myself having more and more questions and so I pick her brains. Already there are differences in our experiences but I still like asking all the questions. I am one who is happier knowing as many details as possible before I go into something.

After breakfast (at lunchtime) at IHOP, we exchanged some things at BabysRus then wandered through one of our favorite stores Dancing Crane. Then we headed to Lauren's house to pick up a glider rocker. Yippee!!!! I love the rocker! We had started all the driving around in good weather but by the time we got to her house it was pouring rain. We made a quick stop at Walmart for some (absolutely and completely necessary) ice cream and by the time we got home it was snowing. After a nice relaxing bath I am feeling pretty good. Having contractions, but they are good practice and mean that I am coming ever closer to actually getting to hold him. I am in good spirits but do hope that this little guy will decide to come during the day.

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March 2

This day ran away with me and I did so very little. Just a few small preparatory things; we put the car seat in the truck and installed a baby mirror. And I did get all of the Thank you cards written, addressed and in the mail. Another check off of the before-the-baby-list.

Truthfully though, the cards seem so insufficient to really say thank you to anyone. I know it is always nice to be acknowledged and thanked, but I'm not very eloquent and I struggle with expressing sincere thanks in writing. But I am so truly appreciative of all the beautiful and thoughtful gifts.

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March 5

Monday sucked out loud!!! To begin with I didn't sleep well at all Sunday night. Why is it that you can sleep great for days and then all of a sudden have one night that sucks...and it happens to be the night before the day that you have to go out and do lots of working. Add to that being nauseous for some unknown reason. (OK, I guess pregnancy is the reason.) Then it is not only the Monday that we have a meeting but we are doing draws as well, which adds hours onto the time frame of being at work. And despite telling the guys that I am tired and achy and nauseous and we need to do this fast, it doesn't actually work that way. They are so oblivious, not to mention inefficient!

I had a new idea for how to do the draws so that it requires much less time at work. Each house that we build has a construction loan and as work is completed invoices come in from all of the different trades (electrician, framer, etc.) I take all the invoices and request money from the bank out of the construction loan to pay the invoices. It sounds simple but each loan has the money broken down into trades. The tricky part comes in when there is not enough money in a trade line to pay the invoice and I have to then pull money from a different trade line. Before doing any of that the boss goes through each invoice and matches it to the bids and makes changes as he sees fit. So, the first step is his and I can't even begin until he has gone through them. Which can be very frustrating, especially when I am sitting around waiting and I go in to find out that he is checking his fantasy football and hasn't even begun yet.

It is also very frustrating that everything I do I could do faster at home with my own computer. When at work I can access my computer through the computer there. But everything takes twice as long, not to mention is twice as uncomfortable. I think things could be done so much more efficiently and the only reason we do it this way is because it is what the boss is comfortable with. The only reason I need to do anything at work at all is to fax all the many invoices to the banks. So my new plan is to fax all of the invoices, then take everything home, do the draw and then I only have one sheet (the draw request form) to scan and email to the bank.

Unfortunately this Monday one of the bosses had car troubles so we started with the draws instead of the meeting. So, even once I had all the draws from the boss and could fax everything over and could have gone home, I still had to wait for the meeting. Then, the (unorganized) boss, comes in with a tax bill and wants to know why it hasn't been paid yet. He knows he has given it to me before and it should have been paid. Well, anyone in there right mind could take a look at his desk and my desk and know immediately who it is that forgets to do things or misplaces things. He is not great at taking responsibility; except that whenever he wants something done he always says "we" need to do this, as if he is going to take any part it in. I was immediately annoyed and then he walks back in and hands me his vehicle registration without a word. I call him back to ask what exactly he wants me to do with this; to which he replies, "we need to get the vehicle registered and paid." I mean come on...his vehicle registration?!?! The man does nothing for himself.

Add to that as I was going through the mail there is tax notification that the company owes some fine because we didn't submit a certain tax form. I do all the employee taxes, but only because they don't want to pay anyone else and just figure that I can do it. I have no formal education regarding accounting or taxes and after weeks of researching and figuring out how it is done I still only feel semi-confident that I do everything right. So, there is an annual form I didn't realize you were supposed to submit. I will have to call and see what can be done.

To top it all off we went through the finances in the meeting. Interesting that I am concerned at all for my job when the very forms and accounting that they are looking at to know the money situation are generated by me. They wouldn't even know all the bills that need to be paid and what the financial situation was without me. So, they didn't let the foreman go. I understand there reluctance, but they are just causing more problems by delaying the inevitable. We know how we are going to manage for the month of March, but beginning in April I'm not sure how they are going to pay me, let alone all the bills.

Because I am having a hard time and because of their financial situation I thought maybe I should take the next few weeks off before and after the baby is born. But I'm the one who keeps track of well, everything. That would just create an organizational mess on top of a financial mess. I just want to concentrate on having a baby and being excited for that event. Instead I am completely stressed over work and how our financial situation might change suddenly in the next few months. I am very grateful that we are getting a tax refund that will be a bit of a cushion for whatever happens.

So, after hours of being at work I finally made it home and still needed to do the actual draw requests to submit to the bank. After being at work from 9:00 to 2:00 I worked at home until about 6:00. All I could think was "please don't go into labor today." I didn't. :) James was so good to hold me and rip on the guys with me and let me cry and vent. It helped that he said he thinks I am tough. I wanted to know how tough it was when I was bawling my eyes out. He said that I was tough to just get out of bed this morning and go to work at all. And then to put up with everything that happened. Tough or not I hope to not repeat this day ever again.

Tuesday was a completely different story. First of all because I slept. Secondly, because I didn't have to go anywhere. I accomplished so much for work. I just keep feeling like I really need to be on top of things because at any moment it could all change.

I had a realization late Monday night. I was thinking very honestly about my work situation and admitted to myself that I am the one who has changed. All of the things that now frustrate me are not new things. It is only because of my new circumstances that I get frustrated when it wouldn't have really bothered me before. When I was working full time in the office I didn't care how long the Monday meetings took because it was just passing the day; I would participate in the chatting and tangents about the weekend and their lives. I always knew there were inefficiencies, and would try to change what I could; but it is only now, when I don't want to be there at all that I resent them. I want things to be done quickly so I can leave quickly.

And the little things like the vehicle registration...I wouldn't have cared. They pay for my time and while I was in the office it didn't matter what they wanted me to do with that time; whether I thought it was personal or a waste of time. (I think my discomfort and his attitude accusing me of not doing something were the main problem.)

So with a good night's sleep behind me and a new attitude I jumped into working. I accomplished so much, including paying the tax lien and registering his vehicle. And in looking closer at the tax notice I found that the fine would be reversed if I sent the paperwork in. I called because I had already sent it in and was told that they are very behind and not to worry about it. So, all the little things that bugged from yesterday are taken care of and put away.

I am never going to be OK hanging out for an inefficient meeting, but I think after the baby comes and I feel a bit more like myself I will be able to handle it better. Not to mention that I think the meetings will come to an end very quickly and the guys will learn through necessity to be more efficient when they have to share the attention with a crying hungry baby.

After getting all the work done I soaked in a hot bath and enjoyed just relaxing. Then I did the dishes, made jello (finally, a pregnancy craving) and meatloaf and went grocery shopping. It was a productive and yet relaxing day.

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March 5

I am in the single digit days now...only 9 days left. Of course, that is if I deliver before or by my due date. Friday would be perfect for me...if only it worked that way.

After posting the incredibly long post about the last few days, I talked with my mom, messaged with Kells, then talked to Kimber while I ran errands. Picked up and deposited checks, stopped at Michaels, picked up "The Eyre Affair" from the library, got water and stopped at the Asian gift store in the mall for a couple of oil diffusers. Then home to make bread and take a bath. It was busy but I took it slow and enjoyed the day.

I will have plenty to do tomorrow as I pick up more checks, do all the accounting for the draws and get all the checks out to the subs. With all that done I think I can pretty much slide through the next week and half without two much concern about work things. I also have a midwife appointment so I will find out tomorrow how things are progressing. And hopefully, sooner than later, have a baby.

After a good night's sleep I got up and showered first thing. I admit this is not usually the case. Typically I wander around in my pjs working and getting things done and then take a bath after the majority of the uncomfortable sitting is over.

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March 6

39 Weeks

I picked up draw checks, went to the bank and then on to the midwife. I sat at the office and waited for an hour which was extremely irritating especially because I needed food. Fortunately this is an unusual event. I now officially weigh the same as my husband, I am measuring 40 centimeters, dilated to a 1 and 60% thinned.


After the midwife James took me to Sampan for hot sour soup, pot stickers and chicken curry. Then home where I worked on the draws for a few hours until a wave of exhaustion hit me. I slept for a little while and then was struck by emotional fallout from who knows what exactly and had a good cry. Some bread and milk will help I'm sure.

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March 8

Wow! I did so much today without any intention of doing so. I totally cleaned the bathroom including cleaning the blinds that have been driving me crazy and washing some walls and ceiling. I feel so much better having the bathroom cleaned...it has really been bothering me but I haven't had the energy to tackle it. I also did the dishes and tidied the kitchen.

After the cleaning spree I worked for about two hours. It is part of why I like working at home...I can do it when I feel like it, not necessarily during "work" hours. Some of the things could have waited until next week, but I really feel like I need to stay on top of things so I don't have to worry about anything when labor starts. Not that I think work will be on my mind at all at that time, but I do need to maintain things just to make my life, not to mention my bosses lives, easier.

James and I went to the Women's center at the new Intermountain Medical Center and took a brief tour. I just wanted to see and get a feel for the room where I will be delivering. It is a brand new hospital and is very nice. No shared rooms, jacuzzi tubs (in some rooms), DVD players and IPOD hookups, light dimmers and a guest bed. There are also several guest stations where guests can go for drinks and snacks, which also means we won't have to call the nurse every time I want ice or water. They also filled us in on the procedure if you come after hours, which I am keeping my finger crossed won't happen.

Once back home I made Kimber's Pumpkin Bread and I am excited to have that to snack on tonight. I think I have sufficiently worn myself out for one day and will take it easy for the rest of the night. (As opposed to mopping the kitchen floor and vacuuming, which are two things I really need to do soon. But they will still be there tomorrow, and the next day, and the next. If I procrastinate long enough maybe Mom will do it when she comes to stay with me. :D

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March 9

I went to Young Woman's today. I didn't really have any intention of going to church at all, but I had a great night's sleep and was feeling good, so I went. Since this is the last picture I will have pregnant and dressed up I decided to post it. I am thinking very positively that by next Sunday I will have a new baby.

As I sat there in class I felt like the girl on Willy Wonka. I could feel myself puffing up all over...at least my hands and feet. I didn't feel up to more so I didn't push it and went home while I was still feeling okay. Drank a lot of water and put my feet up hoping to combat the swelling.

We are going to have some spicy chicken curry for dinner. And tomorrow begins the Monday mayhem again. I woke up with the same thought as Kimber this morning...today would have been a perfect day to have a baby. (Guess it isn't actually over yet...)

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March 10

As far as Mondays go today wasn't bad...just odd. Last night I received a text from my boss moving our meeting until 2:00. Apparently he had been in and out of the hospital all weekend. Then this morning he called to change it to 11:00. Ultimately that was best for me. Gave me time to take it slow in the morning (since I had to take half an hour to catch my breath after the very hard work of showering) but it wasn't so late in the afternoon.

I was there at 11:00 but he didn't actually make it in at all. Friday he had a major panic attack, which was so bad they thought it was a seizure. After having lots of tests they think what is happening is post-concussive stress from him hitting his head while snowboarding. He was having an MRI this morning and afterwards was unable to drive because of the dizziness. It is really odd because he is the one who is always so healthy.

I met with the other boss, which mostly consisted of listening to him ramble and then promptly forgetting everything because none of it was relevant to my job. I went through the mail and did some filing, copying and faxing which I can only do at the office. Nothing really important but once again staying very on top of work so at some point (hopefully very soon) I can drop everything and have a baby.

After a quick stop at the bank and Target I find myself sore and tired so headed home for a nice long soak in the tub. Then because the weather was so nice and I was craving sunshine I went for a bit of a walk. I am so excited for warm spring weather and so excited that soon I will be able to walk (not waddle) with the baby. James and I walked almost every night last spring and summer and I am really looking forward to that again.

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March 12

A little bit of office work. A little bit of cleaning. A little bit of sleeping. I am a bit nauseous. I just pre-registered at the hospital...one less thing to do when checking in. I really want to have a baby now.

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March 13

I had my midwife appointment today and not much is happening. She said if she had to guess she would say that I would go another week. They have me scheduled for stress and fluid tests Friday the 21st and Monday the 24th. If everything is okay with the tests they will let me go but will induce me for sure if I haven't delivered by the 27th. I have already been drinking the raspberry tea, but maybe it is time for the spicy food, long walks and the "coaxing."

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March 18

My midwife appointment was disappointing. Although things are progressing, they are not progressing nearly as quickly as I had hoped. I let myself cry for a moment and get it out and then went on with the day. Since I still can I did some work, putting together the draws. James drove me to work where I faxed the draws, grabbed the mail and made a hasty exit before the guys knew I was there. I will work this week getting the draws and checks taken care of but I'm not going into the office and not doing much of anything else.

On a funny note we went to Walmart to pick up a few things and I drove one of the old lady bumper carts. It really was quite helpful as I was having contractions and am hugely pregnant. I figured if there was ever a time to get away with it, it was now and I will probably never do it again, so I did it.