Break Down

I was so exhausted by the time I left work that I cried all the way home and then laid in bed and sobbed. I don't want to work. I don't want to work. I don't want to work. So, of course J came in to check on me. I know it was emotional and irrational and unfair but I was mad at him because I have to work. I want him to take care of it all so I don't have to. I did talk to him and despite me telling him that he is irresponsible and basically blaming everything on him he has the amazing ability to stay calm, not get defensive and not take it personally. As he explained his methods I can see that he actually does have a system, he is getting rid of so much debt and is quite responsible. It just isn't my way and I always think my way is better. But I can't make him do things my way, especially because his way works for him. I just don't give him credit for it. I know so much of this just comes from the exhaustion. I don't feel like me. He held me while I cried. He calmed me.